Many parents come to me with their children because the child is insecure, shy, bullied, mobbed, angry, sad, withdrawn, or shows aggressive behaviour. (Neither the doctor nor the psychologist found the cause, or the child was sent away with a specific diagnosis such as autism, panic disorder, etc.) Based on my experience, children often mirror deeper, hidden topics that exist within the family system but are not visible. It is important to understand that no one is to blame for this, but as an adult you have the opportunity to address and dissolve these issues. You can do this by taking a closer look at the situation during a substitution (surrogate) session.
Substitution, also known as surrogation, means that someone’s energies — whether emotions, thoughts, or even physical sensations — are transferred to a substitute person (usually from the child to the parent). In this way, the substitute directly perceives the inner dynamics of the problem. In this process, you literally feel yourself into your child’s situation, and through you we receive the messages that your child is not yet able to express consciously. This approach not only brings relief to the child, but also to you as a parent, as it allows you to see your child and the arising issues from a completely new perspective.
It is a special experience not only to guess what your child may be thinking or feeling, but to actually experience it — and through you, a trauma can dissolve simultaneously in both you and your child.
If you have any questions, I am happy to answer them.
With love, Dajbukát Ildikó Dipl. Kinesiologist
